Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Remember me.

Last night, I was rereading some of the stuff I wrote when I was very young. I had pages and pages of thoughts, theories, short stories, poetry, etc. Somehow, between the poor grammar, the nonsense and the general illiteracy that comes with being a kid, I found my very first poem. It was the only thing I'd ever written that had was for a real person. A girl who was kinda my rival and my crush growing up.

I remember writing it like it was only yesterday. I remember struggling to make words rhyme, and having an even harder time thinking of a title. I ended up not giving it a title at all, and leaving it with the idea that it sucked and was unfinished.

Anyways, I decided to rewrite it in hopes that I could do it some justice after all these years.

Here's the original, spelling errors and all:

"I got lost and wanderd the road.
Bad sun, make it day.
Every thing lost its way."

Don't laugh, I was just a kid. Not even ten yet if I remember correctly. And believe it or not, my penmanship hasn't improved at all since then.

I stayed up all night thinking about it, and after a few drinks, I decided to see what I could do.
Here's what I came up with:
"Lowly, lost and gone astray.
Wayward sun, return the day.
Life lost deep in dizzy sway.
Lightless night, obscure the way.
Well, I wonder where she is today.
My friend, my foe. The one that got away."

The ending feels weak, but I think I improved it a bit. Still can't think of a title, but at least it's finished.

P.S. I looked her up and she's a junkie now. Life's funny.

- Jekyll.


  1. that's actually quite nice. keep it up!

  2. Thanks a lot, man.
    It really means a lot to me.

  3. They're both great, but to be completely honest, the one you wrote as a kid has more of a punch, I think. It cuts straight to the point in three simple lines. That's the beauty of being young. We just say what we mean. We don't bother with anything but our thoughts.

    Keep up the great work.

  4. You know, I think I'd have to agree with you.

    It wasn't pretty, but somehow I was able to take that raw emotion and put it on paper. And in three lines, no less.

    Like you said, nothing but our thoughts.

    Sad to think that it gets harder to express those thoughts with age.

  5. I wish I was that creative with writing, the top part would be something like what i write.

  6. man, what a nice read. Plaese make more

  7. Wow, I don't know if anyone else really sees this while reading it, but for some reason there is something so profound in those lines, something so sublime. It really hits home for me though, both the younger and older versions of the poem.
    The first one is something I would think as a kid with a stupid crush. While I'm not old enough to fully relate to the second one, it still hits close to home, I can see my crush (ex) has gotten away, and I can totally see her becoming a junkie.
    Thanks for the post, it really touched me for some reason.

  8. "she's a junkie now, lifes funny" I love that end

  9. You were pretty deep as a little kid. Nice blog!

  10. i remember doing something almost exactly like this.

  11. I wrote a lot when i was younger but most of it got destroyed in a fire wish i could remember some if it nothing as good as your stuff though i must say

  12. nothing better than founding some old paper wrote by yourself, i have an old folder with lot's of it from when i was younger, use to read it from time to time

  13. It's kind of depressing for a youngster to write that, but that doesn't make it less intense.

  14. nice poem thats so amazing that u found it

    Poetry <3

  15. Thanks for the input guys. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    I have a few other related things I may post eventually.

    Just a matter of being able to read my handwriting haha.

  16. I wish I had the talent to do something like this. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work!

  17. That's actually really cool. I wish I had done that, like write my thoughts out every day for years and read back on them. Interesting!